I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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