Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
