My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
