I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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