We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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