these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
