If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
