you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
