No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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