if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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