Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
