Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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