how can u be prego again
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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