dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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