first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We just shotgunned beers for America
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
