I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize