That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
