She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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