you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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