Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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