also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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