I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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