You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
