I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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