It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize