Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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