some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
