just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I have fence marks all over my body
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
