my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
