I wish I could teleport
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
