And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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