Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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