I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
