So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
