her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
