hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
