My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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