dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
