Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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