sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
