but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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