I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize