i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
