i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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