Umm I'm too high to move.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
