i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
