The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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