I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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