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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
