I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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