i just had sex bonerless
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
