The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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