he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
