I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize