Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
