I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize