I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Can I color on your dick again?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
