He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize