I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize