I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
did i just pee glitter
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
