and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
