Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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