Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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